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Showing posts from August, 2018

Enough.

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I'm sitting at work, watching people do their jobs, excelling at it. Then I look at the work before me, and think about how mediocre I really am compared to them. If only I could be so efficient...

Next, I'm in a conversation with some acquaintances, listening to them talk about how successful they are at work, that new promotion, that once-in-a-lifetime vacation, that engagement, that new baby on the way...

Then I'm scrolling through my Instagram and I see people achieving their goals, writing books, publishing poems, taking incredible pictures and creating amazing works of art. And then I wonder, why am I not that talented? Why do I lack so much?

What is even the point of me trying anymore? There always seems to be someone better than me at nearly everything I can do...

I've written before that comparison is the thief of joy. In fact, I very often accept that comparing our life and abilities with others' is a giant waste of time and energy. It really is pointless an…

Overdrive

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You get into the driver's seat, fasten your seat belt and turn the key. The car starts moving, slowly at first, then takes over and before you know it, you're driving at 200 miles an hour. You realize that you're no longer in control...the car is moving at breakneck speed...you can't slow down...and you feel like this is it, this is the end...

Except that it's not a car. You didn't even move. It's your mind. Taking you on yet another trip that you don't know how it's going to end. This, friends, is what overthinking feels like. The loss of control...the helplessness...the hopelessness...

Almost all my life, I've struggled with anxious, invasive thoughts that seemingly appear out of nowhere and refuse to leave. I may not have anxiety in the general sense of the word, but I've always had to deal with obsessive thoughts that tend to overwhelm my senses. I've lost count of the number of times I've ended up overthinking the littlest of th…